You know that moment when your alarm goes off, and for a brief, tragic second, you consider actually getting up immediately? Yeah, me neither. Instead, you smack that snooze button like it owes you money, and boom — you’ve just gifted yourself nine extra luxurious minutes in bed. Nine minutes that don’t actually make you more rested but do make you feel like you’re prioritizing your mental health. And that's important.
But then… there’s the One-Hour Snooze. The ultimate indulgence. The “forget work, forget responsibilities, forget societal expectations” kind of snooze. And if you have a wife (or husband) who is completely obsessed with you... Oh, buddy. That’s not just a snooze — that’s a dream that truly heals every wound.
The Nine-Minute Snooze vs. The One-Hour Snooze
A nine-minute snooze is like promising yourself you’ll “just watch one episode” on Netflix — it’s technically a delay, but it doesn’t change the outcome. You still have to get up. You still have to face the day. And you still don’t know what’s happening in the world because you spent the whole nine minutes lying there, questioning your life choices.
But a one-hour snooze? That’s a declaration of priorities. That’s choosing to stay wrapped up in the warmth of love, limbs tangled, faces smushed into a chest, whispering sweet nothings like “should we quit our jobs and start a vineyard / coffee shop in the hills of Italy and call it Vine & Grind?” while your wife clings to you like a koala that has zero plans of letting go.
This snooze is for the people who know that sometimes happiness means ignoring all alarms and giving in to the greatest force on Earth: a woman (or man) in love who refuses to let you leave the bed.
Change Chapters Until You Get Your One-Hour Snooze
On the episode titled "Plot Twist! Again..." we discussed chapters and restarting your life as much as you want. If you are reading this blog, you either can relate to the beginning of this blog post or it feels foreign. Be honest with yourself, do you want the One-Hour Snooze? If so, change your life. Do things you've never done. Say "Yes" to things that have always intrigued you. Some people will tell you that you only get one big life chapter — one career, one passion, one way of doing things. F*ck that! You can start as many chapters as you want. Don't listen to how your life should be... do something. Want to switch careers? Do it. Want to move across the country? Why not? Want to learn how to make the perfect espresso martini even though you’ve never been a cocktail person? Sounds like a vibe. Invite us over because we will be your guinea pigs (fr fr)!
And if one chapter isn’t working? Close the book and start another. This is your story — no one is stopping you from flipping to the next page except you! Change it up and yell "PLOT TWIST" as loud as possible and get the ball rolling.
The Moral of the Story
Some days, you’ll only need a nine-minute snooze — just a quick second to breathe before facing reality. But other days, you need the full hour. You need the deep, committed, no-regrets, “I-just-joined-a-cult-but-the-cult-is-love” kind of snooze.
And honestly? That’s the best kind.
So go ahead. Hit snooze on whatever doesn’t bring you joy, wake up for whatever does, and for the love of all things good in this world, never deny a cuddle-hungry wife her rightful morning snuggle time. Your heart depends on it.
April Ott, 40(ish), is a creative force who swapped paintbrushes for pixels and now works her magic in digital marketing. A mom of two (5 and 15) and a seasoned veteran of love’s plot twists: married at 22, got divorced, spent a decade in a relationship (possibly the longest situationship known to mankind), and then opened the door to finding her true soulmate — literally, in an open relationship. Now, she’s completely obsessed with her wife (love at first sight, no refunds, no exchanges) and thriving in a life built on saying YES more, embracing adventure, and proving that love, like good design, is all about bold choices.
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