Based on a random voice memo we recorded while on a walk (teaser posted on our spotify page to hear it directly), here are our thoughts on how to have an exciting, meaningful and long-lasting relationship.
1 - Consideration 24/7
Consider your partner's feelings in EVERY decision you make, big or small. Yes, it might seem impossible, especially since we are taught that you should care about yourself from an early age. In a world full of people in survival mode 100% of the time, be vulnerable with the one you share your life with. But by putting yourself in our partner’s shoes, it will help guide you into making the right decision for you as a couple.
2 - 100% Reciprocation
Do anything and everything for your partner that you want done for you. Sometimes I do small gestures, and she notices and in return she does different small gestures back. For example, when she is in the shower and I notice her slippers are not near the shower, I will move them closer so that she has them to slip in after drying off. Now it might not seem like a big deal but I know my wife gets cold easily and I will try anything in my power to make her comfortable as much as possible.
3 – F*ck A Lot, As Much As Possible
Ok, we know that you may not be in the mood all the time, but there is something about being naked around each other and really enjoying the moment. We cuddle non-stop because both of our love languages are physical touch so PDA comes so natural to us; however, not everyone feels that way. Just make sure you have some form of touching there every day, even if its just holding hands, to remind each other that you still enjoy his/her/their presence
4 – Don’t Take Life Too Serious
Life sucks sometimes… and you're in this together so why not laugh more. According to the National Library of Medicine, Laughter is the Best Medicine.
5 - Always Speak Your Mind, Just Talk
As the old saying goes, don't go to bed angry! It is 100% true. Really speak your mind even when you think your partner is not going to like what you have to say. You chose your partner for a reason. If it isn't transparency on your feelings, then you are with the wrong person. In addition, if your partner does not validate your feelings or understand your perspective, acknowledge the communication gap (while keeping your composure) and continue
6 – Don’t Fake It!
Yes, we're talking about the obvious (wink wink). But also, be authentically yourself. Don't change who you are to fit their mold. If you are are actually perfect for each other, you will already fit perfectly into their mold as is. If someone tells you that you are too much, tell them to go find less.
Now, back to the obvious. If you fake it, your partner will not know what you truly like. So stop. Seriously. If you have to, boo in his ear and speak up on what you want/need. Note: said his because if you relate to this, you're probably dating a man. No judgement here but he needs to know.
7 - Want & Need Your Person
Find someone that you can’t keep your hands off of. If you think, I want him/her but I don't need him/her, they are NOT the one. And vice versa... if you need him/her but don't want him/her, SERIOUSLY, move tf on. Life is too short to settle (which settle means to sink... look it up). It's never too late to start again no matter how long you have been with your partner.
8 – Spend As Much Quality Time
Doesn’t have to be a date date. Just put down the phones and actually spend time looking at each other’s faces. The immediate sign I knew she was the one was when we would spend hours straight being about an inch apart, nose-to-nose, just talking. Intimacy is not just doing the horizontal polka (dating ourselves here), it’s about connecting on a deeper level than anyone else in your life.
9 – Admit When You’re Wrong
Admit when you're wrong and acknowledge that you can both be right. Try and understand each other’s perspective. Despite how you may feel about each other, in the times that you were not together, you have had different experiences that have taught you different lessons. Having a different perspective doesn't make you wrong! Hear the other person out, and use all the information to apply what works best for you as a couple.
10 – Be Silly & Have Fun
That's it! Nothing Earth-shattering but so important to end this list on the most important one. Lighten up and enjoy the ride with your partner for the time you have with them.
BONUS ADVICE THAT YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR :)
Always say "I love you" every moment you feel it. Even if you think your partner is tired of hearing it.. they aren’t! If they are, they not the one. Period.
Have more to add to the list? Comment below and let us know!
April Ott, 40(ish), is a creative force who swapped paintbrushes for pixels and now works her magic in digital marketing. A mom of two (5 and 15) and a seasoned veteran of love’s plot twists: married at 22, got divorced, spent a decade in a relationship (possibly the longest situationship known to mankind), and then opened the door to finding her true soulmate — literally, in an open relationship. Now, she’s completely obsessed with her wife (love at first sight, no refunds, no exchanges) and thriving in a life built on saying YES more, embracing adventure, and proving that love, like good design, is all about bold choices.
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